I've been doing some research into a heart monitor and I'm wondering what you all think. Do you have a model you really like? Do you think it's a waste of money to bother with one? Has having one helped you with exersize/adjusting your daily intake based on what sort of activity level you've been functioning at?

Sorry for all the questions but I'm at the end of what google and consumer reports and health magazines can/will tell me and I'd like some actual people's advice.

I bought a bunch of snacks and then packed them into single servings. All the snacks are between 100 and 140 per serving. This way I can pack two snacks and a diet coke in my lunch bag for my work day.

I've been doing very well with my intake but haven't been losing- especially not considering how much I should have to eat to maintain my weight. I'm going to up my calories a little bit and see if that kicks my metabolism into gear.

210-240 (protien bar) Breakfast
240 (or so) Lunch/Snack
10 gum
100- extra snack or coffee

460-500 on days without my family and then an additional 300 calories when I have to eat with them.

Also I've been having an icepop at night and I think sugar that late is hurting me so I'm going to drop that.

Anyone who reads this- do you use ketone test strips? Does that work better for seeing if you are losing fat or do you have a scale that tests for you? I'm reluctant to trust my scale on fat % because it seems to jump up and down more than really seems possible.

Stay strong ladies.

46 calories- coffee and one cup chopped cucumber... it's only 2:45 in the afternoon... how can I mess up my fast this early on? If I'm strong for the rest of the day it should be okay right?

:(

From about 1pm to about 6pm is the toughest time of the day. The world tells me I should have had lunch and should look forward to dinner. But I'm doing *so* well- I've even done more crunches than I planned (though I should probably stop now or I'll be too sore tomorrow)

I've started a scarf and started crocheting what while also probably be a scarf- guess that's what people are getting this year for the holidays. It's awesome to have something to do with my hands to keep me from feeling like I need to munch.

I want to get through this day only on liquids but I guess I'll plan in a little cucumber in a few hours because it's low cal and fills me up.

Stay strong ladies :)

Fasting on days when I work is just too hard- I spend too much time moving around and I feel weak so I'm off work today and tomorrow so yay fasting!

So far today I've only done 20 crunches and the first 1/2 of my work out but I felt really fatigued at the gym so I'm home and going to finish my 80 crunches (at least 20 inverted) and I'll go back for my cardio later.

Spoiled myself and got a giant iced coffee also drank my two bottles of water for this morning.

I'm going to take a little break and watch a movie and crochet (with breaks for sit ups, if I do too many at once my back starts to hurt so I have to break them up into groups of 20)

I'm going to go look up the coffee calories but so far no calories and no plans for solid food. (30 calories... can that be right? 32oz...15 in a 16oz drink- yay not putting cream in it!)I will be cooking dinner for my dad (mom's on vacation) which will make it look like I just ate before he came home and give me all those tasty smells.

Stay strong ladies.

I've done well today. I had some icepops at 60 calories each but they are made with real fruit so the sugar is the good kind and they have tastey vitiamins so not too bad. Then I had my giant coffee and some fritos. All in all I'm under 500 calories but just barely. I feel really sane and grounded when I can plan what I eat and keep to it. The only question is whether I go out with my skinny gorgeous friend tonight and if we go to a diner what I'll eat- no work tomorrow so maybe just plain coffee...that is going to be the plan and then those calories are okay.

If I really think about it, it's pretty sick how terrible not controling my diet makes me feel- but I'm no where near a bmi that is dangerous for my health so I'm not going to worry about it for now.

I want to die. Like all of a sudden this mid morning it came on me that I want to kill myself. Of course I don't really- except that I do. I'm lonely and sad and disgusting.

I'm not going to eat again until he calls or texts or ims me. Not me contacting him, a real contact from him- like a time or day to hang out. I'm exhausted but I'm going to get to the gym tomorrow if it does kill me- even if I only stretch in the sauna at least I'll purge some of that stress.

Someone else posted some of these lyrics and they fit too well with my mood so Radiohead it is...

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

I need to average 1750 under each to meet my first goal in 20 days.

35000 would be 10 pounds. Just sitting around I use about 2000 calories. Exersize adds calories and food takes away- I need to have my total number be 1750 each day for 20 days to lose 10 pounds.

I'm making my goals in to small increments to avoid being discouraged. 10 pounds is totally doable. Hell I might get it done faster than I've calcuated but I'll give myself 20 days to get there.

Now I'm going to close my office door so I can do crunches for a little bit.

I just started dating this guy and it feels like the perfect time to become totally serious about living my life in a healthy way. This guy doesn't know how I eat so I can create a me that eats healthy and then whenever I'm with him (which I hope to be a good part of the time) I'll keep up my healthy eating. I can eat small portions with him and not snack- I'll just be one of those people that doesn't snack. My other friend's know that it's a change- to not binge and not eat tons of icecream etc but he won't know that- He'll accept this as how I am. I think that'll help me.

I'm also a total ho for people liking me. He likes me, he wants to kiss me- that gets me. That's really just about all I'm looking for to be liked.

I still can't believe how badly I fucked up this past week but today is a new day as I said before. I ate my think thin bar- I do better if I put in food as early in the day as possible- I'm working on my first giant glass of water still.

I can make it today- under 300 is the goal.

Last night was *so* bad. I ate candy late at night on top of eating pasta as my one meal rather than the awesome avacado sandwich I had planned. (wasn't ripe enough)

Well today is a new day. So far I've had one piece of gum at 5 cals.

Dad had to borrow my car today so no driving around campus today no matter the weather- I'm walking back and forth from the other side of campus several times which will kill my productivity but will be nice for my burning calories.

Plan for today is lots of wonderful water and a Think Thin bar- I'm not sure they taste as good as Zone bars but for just 30 more calories you get 6 more grams of protien and my body starts to get really sluggish and to crave sweets if I don't have protien.

I can't post to proana but I send out much love to those struggling and many props to those meeting their goals.

At least I didn't blow it at my friend's even if I didn't lose.

I made myself a little box where I'm putting a clear bead in for each pound I lose. I also made myself a pretty bracelet that I can take apart bit by bit until all that is left is my goal weight. I know it's a little silly but having it there to remind me feels good and looking in that little box that I will slowly fill up makes me feel accomplished so- good for people who don't need stuff like that.

I think my meal today will be an avacado sandwich. So indulgent and so tasty- we'll see if I finish a whole portion... I bet I won't even be able to.

I'm going to visit my friend. He is over six feet tall. He eats usually once a day and eats a ton. He is a good cook and always shares with me but what he eats has tons of calories.

I went shopping and bought:

2 medium cucumbers
2 artichokes
2 peaches
3 apples
3 small zucchinni

Hopefully I can fill in the desire to eat with him by munching on those instead. It will only be two days but I can do a lot of damage in two days. I've brought some boiled eggs and tofu as well to stick some protien in anything else I eat. Hopefully his roommates will leave me be and not ask me to eat with them- I feel horrible saying no but I can't eat with them and with him and I know I don't have the will power to sit with both sets and not eat at all.

Wish me luck out there in LJ land. I need it.

Two cups of cooked pasta with red sauce and tofu.

I feel like a cow.

How is it that I can be so good some days and still be this heavy?

::is heart broken::

"Self control is the quality that distinguishes the fittest to survive" - George Bernard Shaw

I can do this- I'm going to start by getting off the computer and getting set for my day.

Well right after I look at a heart monitor thingy and see if I should buy one so I can keep better track of what I'm burning.

Man I need to do crunches today.

I ate *so* much today. I'll never be a size that will be okay to tell other people. I'll never be a weight I'm proud of. I'm going to start dating this guy and I'll be fat the whole time he knows me. :(

i feel bad but i've already changed my plan. i'm putting two 100% juice ice pops into my fast and cutting the juice in 1/2. i think that will be more satisfying.

i'm on my target goal- i lost 4 pounds last week. that isn't as much as it seems cause i'm so heavy...but on goal is the biggest goal so a mini dance party for me!

i look forward to being able to stand posting numbers.

500ml water
1 juice pop 60 calories
1slice tofu 20 calories

Here are my basic stats....

I'm 25. I've been over wieght my whole life. I won't post a starting wieght because I am so embarassed- it has gotten to a truly disgusting point. When I get down to 170 I'll let y'all know and throw a dance party and the real work will finally begin.

My goal is 109. I'm 5 foot 2. I'm a vegitarian and will probably be a vegan in the near future just cause it makes it that much easier to not eat infront of other people. I'm currently eating about 1800 calories a day on average. I plan to take that down to 1000 and keep it just about there. I take medications that make my stomache upset if I don't have something in it when i take them so I have to eat at least two times a day. I'm going to start a fast tomorrow... well tonight right after evening meds.

My fast will include: 100% unsweetened organic Cranberry juice 16oz a day diluted in water, two slices of tofu (1 for each med time) I'm just going to do that for 3 days. After that we'll go to the 1000 calories a day for the weekend and we'll see after that.